How To Free Yourself From Other People's Opinions

Other people’s criticism is their opinion

Live the life that makes you happy. People will give you their opinions on what you should do but it doesn’t mean you have to take their advice.

In most cases they mean well, but the only person who can make that decision is you.

Drown out the noise and get clarity on what you truly want.

For so long I lived based on the opinions of other people. My parents, my husband, my daughter, my friends, and even total strangers! They didn’t even know I was doing it.

I would go along with what anyone else wanted and thought about what would make them happy before myself. I even turned down a dream job because I thought my husband wouldn’t be happy, even though he told me he would support me no matter what. 

So how did I get out of this cycle of people-pleasing? By going through these three major phases. It took years, not days but I am finally in a place to distinguish between what I want and what others want. 

Who Are You Spending Time With?

Spend time with people who lift you up. One of the biggest things that helped me lead a happier life was the realization that I had some toxic people close to me.

Take a hard look at the people you spend the most time with. How do you feel after interacting with them?

Find ways to spend more time with the people in your circle who encourage you and less with those who bring you down.

Surround yourself with people who want the best for you. 

When you start to talk about making changes in your life, it can cause those around you to get scared. They may take their insecurities out on you and say things like “that will never work”, “you’re such a dreamer,” or “why can’t you just be happy with what you have?”

Make the changes anyway and see who is actually in your corner. Those that want what’s best for you will turn around as they see you take action.

Start Living Your Own Life

What is the life you have always wanted? What would light you up day in and day out? What’s holding you back from having a life you love?

Take the time to think about what you want out of life and be real with yourself on how you want your days to look.

Forget what your friends, family, or society wants - what do you want deep down?

This clarity will help you realize what you need to change. 

Get clear on what matters most to you. To live a life you truly love, it’s essential to have clarity on what’s important to you.

Not what society values, not what your parents want, not what your friends value, not even what your spouse wants.

Drown out the noise from others and really listen to what it is that would make you happy.

What are your values and beliefs?

When you are clear on what is important to you, it’s easier to make choices in alignment with who you are.

That alignment will ultimately increase your happiness.

Seek Your Own Validation

Learn to seek validation from yourself, not other people. 

When you struggle with people-pleasing tendencies or co-dependency, you feel the need to obtain approval for everything you do.

Learn to trust yourself for that approval.

Deep down, you know what is best for you. No one else is going to lead you to the decisions that make the most sense to you.

Build a life that is unique to your likes and strengths. You are the expert. 

If you want to be the most successful and happy version of yourself, get clear on what you like to do and what you are good at.

You can succeed at something you don’t necessarily like, but happiness will be harder to come by.

Do something that speaks to you instead of doing what others want or expect.

The only person who can ultimately discover what that is, is you.

Do it for yourself. 

Before you decide that you could never do something, give it a try.

We talk ourselves out of things that move us out of our comfort zone to try to avoid failure. Even if it doesn’t work out the way you want, you will learn more about what you do want. You’ll also make amazing connections and create some fun stories!